Do You have the Power to not Smile?

I did NOT feel like working out today, but I hadn't sweated in a week-ish and knew it was necessary. Hitherto, I put on bright red lipstick and went for a run. Who says running can't also be fashion forward?

Listen Up.

Hi'Ya Neighbor!

The girl I share a wall with is not home often. When she is home, she blasts loud Showtunes and stomps around like she's wearing combat boots. I have told her twice to turn down her music. The woman downstairs has asked her nicely too. I'm starting to think she either has a hearing aid that prevents her from enjoying music at a normal level or that I am going to have to get nasty. I have banged on our shared wall with a stiletto. The sound quickly abated. However, further steps may need to be taken. Here's what I have thought of:

 Dear Amber,

   If you do not stop playing your awful iTune Playlists, I will rub my bare ass on your front door.

      xoxo,

       Me.    

No Shame Salty Yumm Yumm

Look at these! They are Sensible Portion Garden Veggie Straws. You can pretty much buy them everywhere, but you can buy the jumbo bag at Costco or Sam's Club. I know that if I buy potatoe chips, I will eat an entire bag in one sitting and spend the rest of my night curled into a heap of self-pity. However, if I buy a bag of these I don't feel awful for going overboard. You get 38 straws for 130 calories; 7 grams of fat; 120 grams of sodium and zero perservatives. The sea salt-flavored ones are my favorite.

Chicken Salad Deliciousness

Chicken salad is probably one of the most delicious foods that can be made in less than 15 minutes. It's super simple and only gets better the longer it merries. It's also one of those items that can be adapted for calories.

 Ingrediants

2 c. Chicken meat (I buy a precooked chicken from the Deli)
1 c. Craisens
1/4 c. walnut pieces
3/4 diced green apple
2 c. prediced carrots
3 T. brown sugar
1 T. White vinegar
1/2 c. Olive Oil Kraft Mayo

1. Whisk up the mayo, vinegar, and brown sugar.

2. Mix together all the foodie bits. I guessed the measurements that I used. I mostly just threw stuff in a bowl till it looked yummy.

3. Combine your whisk mix into the bowl with all the foodie bits. Stir till it's throughly mixed. For a less "wet" salad, use less Mayo, but really I didn't use that much Mayo to start with.

4. Gobble on crackers or some other type of carb item: Bagel. Bread slice. Stale Crouton.  

Tears and Tears

 I believe there are certain things that are instrictly good for the soul: rich foods, lively music, holding hands, abundant dancing, and crying. There is something refreshing about a good cry. I think it cleanses and renews the spirit. I haven't cried since...Halloween? Yes, Halloween when some idiot broke a piece of my furniture. 

Shake it Baby

So after I sweat out a million calories, I usually want a cheeseburger with bacon, lettuce, tomatoe, and enough condiments to sink a canoe. However, I try to make a protein shake and imagine it's a chocolate milkshake. This recipe works pretty well and it takes zero effort.

Ingrediants

- Half a frozen banana
- 2 scoops Muscle Milk chocolate powder
- 1 cup dark chocolate almond milk (dairy hurts me)
- 1 tablespoon dark chocolate peanut butter
- lots of ice

 Throw everything into a blend and churn until ice is grated. I like mine thick and heavy. It fills me up and makes me feel like I've cheated the calorie gods.