I got a new job which is overwhelming and exciting. It's not the job I was going for, but it will do for now. I'm not a perfectionist, but when it comes to working- I have to be the best. I get incredibly offended when someone questions my work ethic. It's one of my buttons. This new job is a great stepping stone, but I'm going to keep job searching.
My grandpa is being moved to an Alzheimer's facility eight hours away from my home. I haven't thought about it because breaks my heart. I am a grandpa's girl and for the past six years I've watched his mind slowly go. I always great him with, "Hey Handsome!" and he replies with, "Hey Bebe!". But now it's not like that. I've been applying to jobs near where he would be. I don't want him to be forgotten.
I keep the telephone of my mind open to peace, harmony, health, love and abundance. Then, whenever doubt, anxiety or fear try to call me, they keep getting a busy signal - and soon they'll forget my number. ~Edith Armstrong
Do not anticipate trouble or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight. ~Benjamin Franklin
Real difficulties can be overcome, it is only the imaginary ones that are unconquerable. ~Theodore N. Vail
I have a final interview on Tuesday with the only school that has given me the time of day since I sent out resumes. It will be a faculty interview with four other members who work for this particular school.
I really want this.
I also really want to trust God with this decision. That is a little tricky. I have a phobia that God hates me. I've never done anything worth being hated for, but it's a childhood fear that continues to manifest itself in my adult life. I perceive God has this giant man siting in the sky waiting to step on me. It's a totally unrealistic fear that should probably be addressed by a therapist or religious life coach. It's very difficult to trust in a being you believe wants to smite you.
That being said, I guess that's why I'm more of a realist than my friends care for; A glass half empty type of person, which is entirely awful since I despise individuals like that. I told myself that I would start memorizing scripture that would repel this type of thinking. Let's see if I can find one...
Romans 15:13 "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."
Perfect.
Update: The interview went well and I made it to round 2. In this round I have to teach a twenty minute lesson in Language Arts to a classroom of live fourth graders while the principle watches. I'm not intimidated by the teaching because I KNOW I can teach. I'm nervous about the documentation of the lesson. Since I earned my degree out of my home state, I'm not familiar with the education format and guidelines. I'm praying the principle mostly pays attention to how I interact with children and less about my paperwork. I'm going to do a lesson about Shel Silverstein and cross my fingers.
You have those days where you wake up late and think to yourself, "The day is shot. Blurg! I was going to accomplish so much more!" This day started like that. I blame it on the morning thunderstorm. I love sleeping during those.
Long story short, I received an excellent job lead. It's a type of position that I could really excel in, geared towards the degree I graduated with. I sent this woman my resume. We're having a phone meeting today at 3:30 to discuss the details.
The future is a scary thing. I don't want to move forward but I'm afraid of being left behind, and even more fearful of not progressing at all. Because of my need to be perfect, I tend to over-think all my moves. I'm not one of those lucky people who can just toss life into a can, shake it up, and watch things explode. I like having a plan. Plans are safe and neat and controllable.
Found at: http://stankydank.tumblr.com/page/39
Yesterday, Betina and I went to a job seminar for the jobless. Can we talk about a humbling experience? My mother was unemployed for roughly a year not too long ago. She would talk about her fellow comrades and the mighty rat race that comes with the territory of job seeking. However, I was very schooled by some of the hardships facing others; jobless for years, foreclosuress, sole beadwinnders, alot of fear, no health benefits, dwindling 401ks..ect.
Lesson learned? I am doing GREAT.
Side note: Training for a half marathon when you are a newbie to running sucks. I can't seem to get over the four mile mark. Is it because I'm too chunky? Am I not stretching enough? Am I not eating enough? Maybe I should start weight lifting...
I am 22 years old.
I graduated from The University of X in December 2010.
Now what do I do?
I feel my insecurities are not so uncommon.
Why not share them?
I have been graduated for two-ish months. I work minimum wage with spoiled children at Little Monsters Inc (not it's real name). I like my job and very thankful for the opportunity to work.
However, this gig is not a career maker. These two months are quickly going to turn into four, six, ect. Something must be done or I will become a lifer. I do not want my daily ritual to consist of wiping the baby puke from my cardigan or putting together a train set in as many intricate patterns as I can think of to amuse the kiddies.
But What I Really Want to Do is Save the World
I'm young and idealistic and single. Why can't I pack my bags, load a plane, and take off? Ah that's right, I take alternative medicine not commonly found in all areas of Europe, I have $ZZ,ooo in student loans, my mother would sob, ect. *Sigh*
Being a responsible citizen blows.
Marriage is not an Escape Plan at the Moment.
Despite popular belief, not every young lady is looking for a MRS. degree when she goes to university. I was clever. I studied hard and avoided unwanted pregnancies. I graduated with a 3.7 GPA, top marks, and accolades. Guess what?
Nobody cares. I have zero sense of where my life is taking me. I'm very unattached and yet I have pangs of envy over friends getting hitched. Do I want a ring? No. Would it be nice to have something resembling a road map to where my destiny is heading? Yes. Would it be even better if I had a passenger to take with me along for the ride and be there for me when I'm upset? [insert husband here]
What I really need to do is make a list of what I want to accomplish and go from there. Next entry will be my list.
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