Cease to begin.

I got a new job which is overwhelming and exciting. It's not the job I was going for, but it will do for now. I'm not a perfectionist, but when it comes to working- I have to be the best. I get incredibly offended when someone questions my work ethic. It's one of my buttons. This new job is a great stepping stone, but I'm going to keep job searching. 


My grandpa is being moved to an Alzheimer's facility eight hours away from my home. I haven't thought about it because breaks my heart. I am a grandpa's girl and for the past six years I've watched his mind slowly go. I always great him with, "Hey Handsome!" and he replies with, "Hey Bebe!". But now it's not like that. I've been applying to jobs near where he would be. I don't want him to be forgotten. 

  

It's a Rash!

I have a final interview on Tuesday with the only school that has given me the time of day since I sent out resumes. It will be a faculty interview with four other members who work for this particular school.


I really want this.


I also really want to trust God with this decision. That is a little tricky. I have a phobia that God hates me. I've never done anything worth being hated for, but it's a childhood fear that continues to manifest itself in my adult life. I perceive God has this giant man siting in the sky waiting to step on me. It's a totally unrealistic fear that should probably be addressed by a therapist or religious life coach. It's very difficult to trust in a being you believe wants to smite you.


That being said, I guess that's why I'm more of a realist than my friends care for; A glass half empty type of person, which is entirely awful since I despise individuals like that. I told myself that I would start memorizing scripture that would repel this type of thinking. Let's see if I can find one...


Romans 15:13 "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." 


Perfect. 

  

12:30 + Me + Shel Silverstein

Update: The interview went well and I made it to round 2. In this round I have to teach a twenty minute lesson in Language Arts to a classroom of live fourth graders while the principle watches. I'm not intimidated by the teaching because I KNOW I can teach. I'm nervous about the documentation of the lesson. Since I earned my degree out of my home state, I'm not familiar with the education format and guidelines. I'm praying the principle mostly pays attention to how I interact with children and less about my paperwork. I'm going to do a lesson about Shel Silverstein and cross my fingers. 

 

From Light to Dark

When I started my education in 2006, I had no idea there would be so few opportunities in 2011. I've been avoiding reading the newspapers for months now because I prefer to remain oblivious to the job crisis. However, this morning the front page was all about the budget cuts for schools. 


I read the article. Mistake. 
Every surrounding school system is making huge cuts. It's across the country, but it's no less unsettling. I applied to a school on Friday and read in this article that the school I applied to is not only cutting X amount of jobs, but they are also not hiring anymore faculty for the 2012 school year.


What the what?! 


However, I can't worry about this. Or that. If I start thinking in the negatives, I'll think myself into a hole. The world tells you they're aren't possibilities, but there are. It's about creating them yourself and keeping your eyes open. I might not get a job for the Fall. That is a reality, but I must maintain a sense of hope for the future. If I don't, I will become a sorry mess of a human.

Pants are Always Optional.

The last two days have been very productive. I inquired to three more school districts about subbing. I took in some final paperwork to my local school system. I also managed to devour an entire avocado by myself. I am successful!

Let's talk about love. I have three friends getting married this summer. Last summer I had two friends get hitched. I think taking the leap into marriage is wonderful if you're prepared for it. However, I don't think many people are. I think couples focus on the wedding more so than the big picture. The big picture means forever. Everyone gets a different love story. Sometimes they end well and sometimes they don't. Since mine has yet to begin, I would like to think it's going to be filled with a handsome, broad shouldered, foreigner. Daydreaming. But I would also settle for something else.[See Below] 

Found at: http://justonemoregoodbye.tumblr.com/