It's true.

This music video made me tear up. I don't know what's wrong with me.

Quotable Quotes

Some of your hurts you have cured,
And the sharpest you still have survived,
But what torments of grief you endured
From the evil which never arrived.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Cranberry Sauce Should Never Come from a Can.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving here in the States. It's a holiday commonly associated with turkeys and overeating. It's suppose to be a day of counting your blessings, but with the rise of consumerism, sometimes that message gets lost in all the advertisements for Black Friday (google it).


I love Thanksgiving because I see my family. It's cheesy, but I love it. Every Thanksgiving is essentially the same. We load up the car and haul over to my cousin's house. Her mom makes a salad while my uncle critiques the cooking process from the living room couch, beer in hand. My dad slaves over the oven for hours and only answers direct questions related to food or football. My hormonal teenage cousin ignores all of us and texts on her cellphone. I socialize with everyone and create a plan on how to avoid eating too much (plan fails every year). My sister can be found eyeing the clock every five minutes, counting down the time till we leave. My mother flits around the house documenting each moment with her camera and forces anyone breathing to smile and "ACT HAPPY!". My older cousin will not make an appearance till she  has her makeup on and has been warned that the food is hitting the table in 5 minutes whether she's wearing mascara or not. We sit and eat and talk. Later we fight over leftovers since both my twiggy cousins can out-eat grown men. And that is why I love this Holiday. It's not glamorous or chic or exciting, it's just my family. 

The Body is Not a Cold Dead Place

 Sometimes when I get stressed or just need a second to myself, I close my eyes and go to the blue room. It's this silly coping exercise I learned when I was younger, but sometimes it still makes me feel good when I'm having a moment. I close my eyes. My happy place is a little room that has one window that overlooks a European city. I'm not sure where, but the street below that window is cobblestone and little houses run up and down the street. People walk along the pavement and a boy on a bicycle passes. The walls in my room are jazz blue and there's bookshelves along the left and right walls. There's also a beat up couch and a desk that I sit at. The room's door is across from the door that leads to the kitchen. Our kitchen has black and white tile and there is always a dark haired man making me a cup of coffee in there. I watch the city below and eventually a dark haired toddler comes and sits on my lap. We watch the city together and I point out interesting things. It peaces me out, this totally made up scenario. Maybe one day it will be true.

Bobblehead.

I'm not dead! After a long hiatis from blogging, I have returned. In the last three months I moved to a new state, started a new job, and moved into a new apartment. It's been alot of change. Looking back at older posts, it's hard to know how much my life has changed in a short amount of time. I live seven hours away from all my friends and my parents. I wake up at 5:30 every morning and go to bed around the same time as the elderly. I wonder sometimes if I did the right thing or if I made a mistake. Somedays I hate the choice I made when I hear from friends who still live close to one another. I hate that I'm missing out on their lives. I don't like the fact that I don't have any friends (save 2) in this city. I spend my evening by myself alot or I call up a coworker who for whatever reason enjoys spending time together. I want things on my walls and I want pictures in places to remind me of all the people I love. I think the water is giving me acne (or it's the stress of my job). But I like my job. I have no idea if I'll be here in the Fall or if I should try to move back home or if I should just move to China.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I AM DOING.

 But hey, that's the beauty of being 23